are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
