I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
