perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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