btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize