he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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