Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize