How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
