Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
