The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
