My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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