i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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