So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize