so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
