You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
