summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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