u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
