just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
as a side note pls kill me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
