Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize