I'm really into asian looking animals
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize