He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
