WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
