margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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