she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
