I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
