Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
