I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
