yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
