Fine. I'll sleep in my office
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
