so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
