I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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