at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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