My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
