so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
