pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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