I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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