his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
do herpes really smell.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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