you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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