My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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