I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
