Barsexuality is the new black.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
