Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
