He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My vagina is very pro this idea
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
