I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
