i think i have two assholes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
