Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
