call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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