Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
