is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
