but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
me + whiskey = a bad person
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
