Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
