My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
