i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
