how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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