We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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