you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
