we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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