all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize