why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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