I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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