Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
