I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Your cock deserves a montage
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
