I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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