He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
