so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
