he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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