Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
