she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
