I didn't shave. On purpose
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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