I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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