First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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