speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
