We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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